Metamorphosis

  It's the end of April and May awaits with everything I've been waiting for.  April showers bring May flowers, so it's only fitting my Opuntia is blooming.  This is a new one for me and supposedly it starts out pink and then fades to white.   It's called Pina Colada and I'm including it in todays blog since I'm still on liquid diet and wish I could have one....pina colada that is. The day started at 6:00am with a walk with George. I don't know why but I have a burst of energy today. Later we sat on the deck and I worked on finishing my card holders to sell at craft shows next fall. I went to lunch with Left Brain and enjoyed my strawberry banana protein shake while he dined on au gratin potatoes and ham with carrots. It was good to socialize with people. Took my nap to make sure I had energy to attend the pool party at 6:00.  The band was set up in the pergola and everybody hung around poolside or in the water floating and visiting. It was a lot of fun to ...

One of things I wanted to do prior to surgery was get a very short haircut. This will make it easier to care for while I recover. My friend Mitch is going to get hers cut and I tagged along as sometime it's hard to find a stylist who is willing to cut it as short as I'm wanting. This will be nice as I wait for my one month checkup here in Arizona where the temperatures will be ramping up day by day. I wasn't worried about going that short as I had it cut that way while preparing for my black belt. And it's hair, it grows again. I spent the morning pounding knives into the ground to act as plant markers so the guys that spray don't kill them. After that I gave the new plants a good soaking. By this time I'm schvitzing (sweating for you non Yiddish speakers) and it was nice to have all that hair gone. Then I hauled out a bunch of winter things out to the shed that should (hopefully) be too large when I return in October. It's hard to imagine that at this time ...

I have been overly blessed with good people all around me that show they care and are with me on my journey. Many are right here in the resort where I live, others are in the campground where I summer. Some are friends from long ago and some are newer friends that I've met along the way. There are those I'm related to by blood, marriage or simply having taken them into my tribe.  It's important to gather good people in your life. One week from today I'll be packing my bag for the hospital and trying to sleep with the excitement of it all.

  I'm trying to find something positive about the liquid diet. The one thing that comes to mind is not having to worry about what's for lunch or supper.  Left Brain has been pretty much turned loose on his own to forage for sustenance.  Also, it makes it much easier logging all the food intake. I love watermelon and really wish this recipe was approved for right now. I mean, watermelon is mostly liquid, right? Oh yeah, no alcohol for a year after surgery...forgot about that part. Today marks my halfway point through the liquid diet and the goal seems even more reachable. There's something to be thankful for! I went shopping this afternoon at the thrift stores. Bought a bunch of table knives to use as plant markers so the guys don't confuse them with weeds and spray them. Found some nice ice cube trays with lids to use for freezing small amounts of food. I found a suggestion to put marinara sauce, putting a little oil with herbs, and tiny amounts of pureed food. It doesn...

I received a card in the mail from a group of classmates from high school all wishing me well as I pursue this goal. I'm sure they had no way of knowing that James Christensen is one of my favorite artists.  His images trigger our imaginations as to what might be possible in our fantasies. That's something I can really relate to right now.   My cousin Jean is part of this group and she is an artist and we have so many similar qualities that I have to believe she may be the one who picked the card. These are women I have not seen for many years and it warmed me to know they are still there and care about me. I'm so grateful for the support system that I have while on this journey both near and far away. Left Brain and I went to see the movie "Escape from Germany". It's the first time in my memory I've been to a movie without getting popcorn. I encouraged him to get some and it didn't bother me at all that he was eating next to me.  I had smuggled in a s...

  To me, one of the most interesting parts of this journey are finding out all the women I know that have also taken this route. It feels good to be in such good company!  It's kind of like the bariatric "me too" movement.  I guess it shouldn't be surprising since this surgery started in 1990. Maybe I need to start a Bariatric Buddy Group to get together and share recipes. This is the plus of living in a 55+ resort. There's so many amenities and activities to take part in, even in the off-season. Many of the snowbirds have left but about one third of our resort has people living here full-time. You can find someone to visit with at any moment. It's so different than when you just live in a house somewhere. You might know your neighbors...wave and say hi, but here you get to really know them. It's living in a small space and not for everyone, but I find it lovely. I'm sure everyone here knows about my impending surgery as I've always been an open bo...

  I find myself reading a lot these days The day started with watering in all my new plants and then taking George for a stroller ride, not a very long one as it's hot and I'm tired. But he looked so hopeful I couldn't disappoint him. I did manage to vacuum and do a little cleaning, but the energy level is pretty low these days. After that I gathered up the meds my surgeon ordered for me to take with me to my pre-op surgery visit. It felt good to know what to expect afterwards and how long I'll need to be on some of these. I signed all the consent forms and agreed that I understood all the things that can go wrong and that this could kill me.  Honestly, these forms make me wonder how anyone is agreeable to consent. But I understand that it's all for legal reasons and the risk for this particular surgery is much lower than others. At the weigh in I was surprised by how much I'd already lost. I'm down to 217 (from 232). I hope I don't lose much more prior ...

  I woke up early this morning to beat the heat and get my cactus and other plants planted. The soil here is like concrete. You need to soak it, dig, soak it more, dig more, etc.  But everything is all in the ground now and watered in. Then I grabbed George out of a nap and returned to the vet.  Things still aren't right, so I'm having to continue the antibiotic another ten days and he needs to wear the cone. I just can't do it, so will need to find an alternative to this. Returned home with George and gave him his pain meds which pretty much knock him out. They wanted him to come back in another two weeks, but I'll be in the hospital at that time so I'm going to just wait and see.  If he needs to return I'll have Left Brain carry him as I won't be able to lift over 10 pounds, which is actually what George weighs right now. He's lost 2 pounds since his last visit. I guess he decided to get on a weight loss program before me. Left Brain took off to have l...

  It's a steady diet of fluids again.  I can't say I'm hungry but the energy level is low.  Today's consumption was a cinnamon roll protein shake with 30 grams of protein for breakfast.   Not too bad, not as good as a real one of course, but half my day's minimum required protein. For lunch I pigged out with two Jello cups and chocolate protein shake.  I added a sprinkle of strawberry jello powder to this for a chocolate covered strawberry delight. It was actually pretty tasty but next time I'll throw it in the ninja with some ice cubes to get it blended better. Supper was an Atkins Creamy Root Beer Float protein shake which was quite tasty and had a smoother consistency than the Fairlife ones. I may have to explore other flavors of this brand. It only has 15 grams of protein and my clinic wants protein shakes to have at least 20 grams and be under 200 calories.  This was only 160 so I deemed it ok. But, I'll need some more protein grams before I'm do...

  And it begins! Time to see how many creative ways I can slip liquids into my body. I'm ready with a couple of projects to occupy my mind to keep my mind off actual food. Jigsaw puzzles got me through Covid so they can get me through this two week stint. Left Brain has been warned that I might ask him to go out for lunch during this period so I don't have to watch him eat. Thankfully the Grub Club will take care of his lunch needs on Tuesday and Thursday. The purpose of this two week period is to shrink the liver so they can effectively prop it up and out of the way to access the stomach for the surgery. If it's loose and sloppy the stick holding it up can perforate the liver and then we are in deep doo-doo. I personally think it's to weed out those who can't handle it, kind of a gastronomic boot camp.  But that's just my opinion. So far Day One has been a success. I started the day with going for a walk with George in the stroller and then had my first protei...

  Well, today is my last day of eating food for a while before I enter the land of protein shakes, broth and water. I can't wait!  Because that signals the beginning of the process in my mind. Yes, I know...I've been working towards this goal since November, but this feels like the real start of things. So, I'm sharing my last supper lunch with good friends at PF Changs. We've lived here for seven years and have yet to visit this restaurant. When I learned it was the favorite place of my friend, Karen I knew this was where we had to go. Fried bananas for dessert Karen and Cal started the Grub Club at Carriage Manor and have built a reputation for serving good food at a reasonable price.  I just looked at the menu for May and was pleased to see so many selections that Left Brain can enjoy on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Now I just need to come up with some stuff to fix for him the other days during my liquid diet. If all goes well after the surgery and I'm doing well at...

  It's my last couple of days before the liquid diet begins, so I'm enjoying my favorite foods while I can. First stop is my favorite place: Texas Roadhouse. I've yet to have a steak that didn't satisfy my taste buds.  I'm going to indulge in some BBQ ribs incase the spice doesn't agree with me later.  Well, it seems they don't open until 3PM. Bummer.  So we went to Caldwell BBQ instead and what a treat it was. We got a sampling of three different meats and sides and had plenty to bring back for Left Brain to enjoy later.  It was a really cute place with some nice cactus and grasses in front. The back patio was huge and you can see the smokers they use to cook the meat. I have blue doors at my place in Minnesota, so was tickled to see someone else has my sense of style.   If all goes well, it will be mid-September before I can begin introducing real food to my new tiny tummy. This is a small trade off for jump starting my return to my normal body. I'v...

  One of the things recommended is to have before and after photos.   I hate having my photo taken but here it is.   At least in this one I'm smiling. It's so hard to really take a good look at myself in the mirror and I can't wait until I can have an "after photo" to put with these. This face shows how I really feel about the whole thing.  Sad. Disgusted. Unhappy. Hopeless. So many chins! I imagine a year from how I'll be thinner but probably much more wrinkled. Oh well, I'm old now, so it's a natural look. Ok, one more face photo since I cut my hair to prepare myself for ease of care afterwards. There goes about five pounds of hair, I feel thinner already! On the Facebook support groups they have a Face to Face Friday where you post your before and after (or during) photos to see the progress. I look forward to being able to see my progress this way. They also have Throwback Thursdays with full body shots, but I haven't done those yet. I'm ce...

  We were having our nightly tummy rubs when I noticed that his, well...his little boy parts weren't so little anymore. This area was swollen and bright red. Oh no, this isn't normal.  Usually with all the fluffy hair I never get a glimpse at his nether-regions. So, at 4:30 that evening it was off to the vet for an emergency call.  Thankfully we started with 1st Pet when we were getting established in our new home area of Mesa. This way they have all his records on hand and are available 24 hours a day.  Knowing how sneaky my cat is I got our the carrier and left it on the porch. If he sees it he'll dive into the small crawl space under the bed where we can't reach him. So I just scooped him up and out the door we went. There was a brief struggle on the deck but I won that round. They got all his vitals and I noticed the shocked look on the vet techs face when she saw it. I signed up for everything, the x-rays, blood work, sedation, etc.  Since he was going to b...

  I got the call this afternoon and my surgery will be in the morning of May 6 th! Now begins the pre-op appointments and getting everything set up.   I've also got my follow up appointments scheduled and the last one is June 10th, so hopefully I can go to Minnesota shortly after that. It's really starting to become real!

    I just checked my patient portal and the results of the CT scan are finally in.  I can't say I understand much of it, but excited to have it back. I've forwarded it to both my patient coordinator and my surgeon this morning. Keep your fingers crossed that this report shows nothing more needs to be done and I can get a date.  If I'm able to start my two week liquid diet immediately I should have a date very early in May.

  I've been under tremendous stress dealing with the actions of my neighbors and one time best friend. This has been going on for over two years now and I thought we had both agreed to just live and let live.  That hope died last summer when she started sending me hate filled texts.  I was not able to reason with her and finally ended with telling here I'd pray for her but needed to block her as I just couldn't take any more.  Things were quiet for a while and I was actually glad to be free of her and all the drama that goes on at her house. Then her husband drove his car at me on the wrong side of the street to shake me up.  And he sure did. I went into full PTSD from my first marriage and was unable to function for about three-four days. Our security advised us to call the police to create an official record in case things escalate. Gheez, is that in case he actually hits me next time?  I tried to get a restraining order as I was terrified, but the judge ...

It's maddening waiting for the results of the ct scan as my doctor will not even consider scheduling my surgery until there are in. It's been explained that radiology is two weeks behind in reading results.  Tomorrow will be two weeks since my test and I'm sincerely hoping it comes through early in the week so I can get this scheduled! My sister from another mother gave me a sweet surgery gift.  I have some magazines to read while in the hospital and some cute notebooks to write down my thoughts.   But the best part is my "warmy" to heat up and cuddle against my belly during recovery.  I think this may become my best friend. Yes, I know George does an amazing job of snuggling, but I can't press him against the surgical sites like this guy. I'm so jealous of my friend, Andy.  He has his date of May 1st.  I really hope I get scheduled around the same time so there's someone I can be miserable with. His wife had the surgery earlier so we have an on-site ...

  It's been a rough week but finally I've fulfilled all the mandated meetings to learn about nutrition and the change of lifestyle that is needed to make this work. All the medical exams have been had and passed. April 3rd everything was sent to my insurance...a major step forward. Now the waiting begins for the paperwork to be returned to the bariatric clinic.  Then...finally...a date can be scheduled for the actual surgery. I've learned from the Facebook support groups this can take anywhere from 30 minutes to two weeks or longer.   I've yet to hear results of the nodule on my lung but this doesn't seem to be a pressing matter. I've learned that many people have these and it doesn't seem to be a concern unless they grow. So I will probably have to have ct scans from time to time to monitor this.